10 Wacky Ways To Get FIRED From Your Job!

“You’re Fired!” Could any two words strike more fear and panic in the human psyche? Getting fired is one of the world’s worst experiences. Rejection, humiliation and despair are just a few of the feelings that race through your mind. A word to the wise: Here are 10 “doomed employee tricks” that’ll get you the boot faster than you can say “u-n-e-m-p-l-o-y-m-e-n-t” …

1. Get Caught With Your Hands In The Cookie Jar! Yes, the number #1 way to get fired – hands down, is get caught stealing from your employer.
2. Be an Under Achiever. Do as little as possible. Don’t go beyond your job description, and when a project is on a deadline, and your help is needed, remember “it’s not your job.”
3. Show Up Late And Leave Early. Again prioritize. You’re already late, so why not stop for a cup of coffee on the way to work?
4. Regularly Question Your Boss’ Ideas. Always try to do so publicly. And remember also to take credit for your co-workers ideas.
5. Complain Loudly And Often. Tell customers what you really think about the company...and them for that matter.
6. Have A Drink. What’s a long lunch without a couple of martinis, or brews. It’ll make the afternoon go by more quickly...or at least you won’t notice!
7. Make Lots of Personal Phone Calls. Don’t forget to call mom, dad, the kids, your sister, your hairdresser, and to arrange for soccer practice, ballet, your nails, and order clothes on-line at work. It’ll save time later in the day.
8. Embarrass Your Employer Publicly. Put sensitive company information in email messages. And talk about company secrets whenever you’re in public places.
9. Use E-mail And The Internet For Personal Use. Use your eight hours to take care of all your personal email business and fast Internet surfing.
10. Lastly, Take An Afternoon Nap. Just think how refreshed you feel when five o’clock rolls around – as well as your pink slip!
Oh…and if you hate your job, but haven’t been able to muster the gumption to quit, try these same tricks...they’re guaranteed to work!